How to Support Survivors During Social Distancing

Social Distancing Can Mean Increased Rates of Domestic & Sexual Violence. 
​This is How you Can Support Survivors. 

Most perpetrators of sexual and domestic violence are people we already know

For some folks, being stuck at home means being stuck in the same space as their perpetrator with little to no options to go elsewhere. (They may not have any safe place to go to, are unable to take family members with them, can’t afford transportation, may fear legal/financial/physical repercussions, etc.)
Sometimes the violence occurred a long time ago. Sometimes the violence is still occurring.

This is what you can do to be of support if there is existing violence:
Identify what level of support you are able to offer and connect them with organizations that can provide the rest.

• First and foremost, believe them. Keep your judgments to yourself, and don’t ask for more details about the assault.
• Do not call the cops without the survivor’s permission.
• Do not pressure the survivor into calling the cops. Many survivors do not want their perpetrator to go to jail and/or feel that police involvement will put them in more danger.
• Create a code phrase that means “SOS/HELP!” without them needing to say the words.
• Open your home as a safe space for an extended period of time.
• Offer your number and be sure to answer their call no matter what.
• Offer gas money. Pay an Uber/Lyft. Offer transportation.
• Many perpetrators prefer to keep their violence hidden — offer to regularly stop by to interrupt any violent behavior.
• Check in frequently via text/video/call to remind them that they are not alone.
• Offer to watch their children/care for elderly family members.

This is what you can do if a survivor discloses for the first time:

• First and foremost, believe them, keep your judgments to yourself, and don't ask for more details about the assault.
• Ask them the question, "What do you need?"
  • If the assault happened recently, some survivors may want to support finding medical attention, a safe place, childcare, etc
  • If the assault happened a while ago but the memories are resurfacing, some survivors may just need you to listen! Without trying to fix anything, to validate their feelings, to be reminded that they are not alone.​
• If the survivor is seeking support that you aren't able to provide, call your local r*pe crisis center or domestic violence shelter to discover available options.
• Do not call the cops without the survivor’s permission.
• Do not pressure the survivor into calling the cops.
  • Many survivors do not want their perpetrator to go to jail and/or feel that police involvement will put them in more danger.

Organizational Resources:

Rape Abuse and Incest National Network
RAINN.org | 24/7 hotline: 800-656-HOPE (4673)
National hotline that serves people affected by sexual violence. It automatically routes the caller to the nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center.

Deaf Abused Women’s Network
DeafDAWN.org, 24/7 video phone hotline: 202-559-5366
Legal, medical, system advocacy and survivor support services for Deaf and DeafBlind survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and harassment
FORGE
www.forge-forward.org
Serves transgender, gender nonconforming, and gender non-binary survivors of domestic and sexual violence; provides a referral/has a directory of resources for trans and non-binary individuals.

LGBT National Help Center
www.glbtnationalhelpcenter.org
LGBT national hotline: 888–843-4564
LGBT national youth talk line: 800-246-7743
LGBT national senior hotline: 888-234-7243
Online peer-support chat available on website provides vital peer-support, community connections, and resource information.
Safe and Sound
www.safeandsound.org
Parental support line: 415-441-5437
Resources for survivors of sexual assault with kids and/or who parent. Resources on healthy parenting, child development, discipline, and child safety classes.

If you have trusted orgs and resources in your area, please share below <3. Feel free to share widely and credit Eri Guajardo Johnson/ @BirthBruja.

Special thanks to Angelique Geehan for transcribing this material <3.